In the beginning God and the Angels were surfers.



Chapter: 1

[1:1] In the beginning God was bored and he said, “I need a project.”
[1:2] God said, “This project shall occupy half of infinity.”
[1:3] God thought for a while (1).

 Chapter: 2

[2:1] After much contemplation God stretched his fingers out into the nothingness.
[2:2] And within the nothingness some indefinable speckles appeared within the void.
[2:3] God sneezed.
[2:4] God yelled into the void, “This shit is fucking up my allergies.”
[2:5] While yelling, from God’s mouth flew spit.
[2:6] And from the spit came the universe filling up the nothingness. And within the universe there were islands of systems. And within the systems there were planets, little dots scattered across the systems.
[2:7] And God said, “Wow! That’s pretty cool.”
[2:8] And god thought for another while.

 Chapter: 3

[3:1] Then after the while God flew out to one of the little dots.
[3:2] And God said, “Damn, this place is wet.” And God called the wetness water.
[3:3] And God called the dry portions of the dot “Land.”
[3:4] And God let the force from the wet water drive him onto the land.
[3:5] And God sat upon the wet-land (2) that met with the water, and God said, “That was fun. I shall call it bodysurfing.”
[3:5] And God laid back on the wet-land and gazed out at the dome of the dot, and said, “I shall call that dome the sky.”
[3:6] And God flopped back with arms straight out into the wet- land, and with giddiness of his creation he flailed his arms and legs back and forth bellowing out a great laughter.
[3:7] God sat up from the wet-land to do more bodysurfing, and the indention of his flailing body revealed itself, and god said, “Wow, that’s pretty cool”
[3:8] And God touch the indention, bringing it to standing form, and said, “I shall call you indention of me Angels, come and bodysurf with me my Angels.”
[3:9] And God and his Angels were amped (3) and they bodysurfed for a little while.

 Chapter: 4

[4:1] While in the wetness awaiting breaks one of the Angels, who God later name Michael started asking questions about all the creation.
[4:2] And God said, “Dude you are agro (4) right now, chill out and enjoy the waves.”
[4:3] And God heard Akaw Akaw (5) from the Angel he later named Gabriel.
[4:4} And God looked to where Gabriel was pointing and he saw the perfect wave forming.
[4:5] God moved.
[4:6] God was about to take the drop (6).
[4:7] The Angel, God later named Lucifer, dropped in (7) on God’s wave.
[4:8] Lucifer placed his wings under his feet, bottom turned (8) and started carving(9).
[4:9] And God said, “Dude! You dropped in on my wave.”
[4:10] And Lucifer replied, “Chill dude it’s firing (10).”
[4:11] And God said, “What was that you were doing with your wings. It’s rad man.”
[4:12] And Lucifer said, “I call it surfing.”
[4:13] And God said, “Righteous, this shall be religion.”



  1. Genesis 1:3 A While is a quarter of infinity.
  2. Genesis 3:5 The Wet-Land is sand/beach.
  3. Genesis 3:9 Amped is excited about surfing.
  4. Genesis 4:2 Aggro is having a bad attitude in the water.
  5. Genesis 4:3 Akaw is spotting the perfect wave.
  6. Genesis 4:6 The drop is dropping down the face of the wave.
  7. Genesis 4:7 Drop in stealing a person wave.
  8. Genesis 4:8 Bottom turn is the first turn at the bottom of a wave.
  9. Genesis 4:8 Carving is turning on a wave.
  10. Genesis 4:10 Firing means awesome surf, nice breaks.

2 thoughts on “In the beginning God and the Angels were surfers.

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