The trials of building a transporter machine.

My Love,

I’ve picked up bits and scraps around here based off of materials Google suggested I get. I even downloaded some instructions. The only hang up so far is the instructions are in Japanese. There is an Asian guy here at work that I asked to help me translate but the fucker called me a racist and said he was Chinese. I thought it was an honest mistake and didn’t warrant that type of reaction.

I offered him some poisoned spring rolls.

He is dead now.

Google translator has been a God sent; and it even gave me the idea to send out alien messages to out of space to help me with having my memories, dreams and everything transport with me.

I was told to installed a DVD player that could stream a continuous reel of moments we shared together, and that it will spark my memories once my atoms are all together into one human being. That information came from another galaxy west of us.

It really pained me to do it, but I used a cat for my first test run. The transporter worked but the DVD of the cat somehow got mixed up and I accidentally inserted “The life of Pie” in the DVD player. The little fucker came out thinking he was a tiger. He scratch the fuck out of me. Ugh.

One other thing I learned from the cat experiment is that the transporter can beam you anywhere within a 1000 meters circumference. So I have added a GPS that can get me as close to a 10 digit-grid. I used a camel for that one and he came out just fine, even acting like a camel. He wasn’t even thirsty. I believe your heart will just be my guide though, so not a big worry.

I am ready for human trails and I am so pissed that I poisoned the guy at work because he would have been perfect. I regret I  acted too hastily with him. No worries though, I have placed a call to your sister to try out my new tanning booth.

Once human trails have been completed, I will attempt to send you a step-by-step guide for you to build a transporter as well. The materials will be easier to get where you are. A couple things you should start looking for: A strong industrial fan and X-ray tubes. The fan of-course is to cool the tubes, but all that will be explained in due time.

Hoping to see you soon, in one piece.

P.S. I know that you love animals dearly, just know that no animals were really harmed during these trials, just one human, and possibly your sister (neither animal nor human).

 

2 thoughts on “The trials of building a transporter machine.

  1. You’re so funny.
    I can’t figure it out.
    It’s downplayed, I guess.
    All I know is, it makes me lol! 😀
    I see you softened the bright
    whiteness of the background.
    Thank you! I hope nobody’s
    complaining. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I am glad I can make you laugh. No I have not heard any complaints. Truth of the matter is I keep my screen brightness pretty low, so did not realize how bright it was once I turned up the brightness. we have to save our eyes you know.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s