another night at the bar

Deep in the endless bottom is where I see the truth. The end of the bottle tells no lies. It is blurred sanity. True lies. The creator fills the abyss. He believes I must remain perfectly sane. Perfectly drunk. He wants restitution for his service. There is no need for all that. I surrender willingly. I have a thing for these things. A love affair. I place my hands behind my back willingly. Fill me.

Another-yes

I have these Demons.

I fight a father I have never met. My mother and I still wonder about him. I carry both burdens. So I’m allowed this next drink. Who is he with. Is he dead. I think, who he fucks instead of my mother, now. Do I have brothers or sisters. My mother is attractive. Come back. Fuck her.

I fight the idea that I am promiscuous. But I am a man so it’s okay. I fight these truths. I fight these lies. Feed me. Feed me. Sometimes these thoughts, they think they are me.  They think I have a problem. Feed me. Get rid of them.

I am sinking. I can almost feel the bottom

the people with no teeth and red cheeks say I will be reborn at the bottom

feed me bat-t, feed greedy me.

I come to these places becuase my mom said he love the bars. They met here. It wasn’t like this then  but maybe he will come back one day.

Is that him.

I will offer him the end of the bottom too

8 thoughts on “another night at the bar

  1. that was tragic and beautiful at the same time. I love how you start with using bars as your place and you end with your Dad loving bars. I don’t know if I am correct but it came across that your Dad was a prisoner of his own mind and failings. great poem

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many unanswered questions. The search is a long one and that bottom is endless. The two combined are destined to never meet.

    I like this style of writing. It’s raw and full of energy. I like it…muchly.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s