A short letter to a food thief

Dear Motherfucker,

I thought these days were over. I thought in an office setting you can simply place your food in the fridge and it will be there when you are ready to have it. I didn’t realize we have to go back to putting our names on it like we are in primary school.

Vous merde insensible, I am trying to eat clean, and the only meal I really plan is my lunch. Tuna is my favorite you fuck. Unlike you, who take 2 hour lunches, I actually work through lunch. I also know where the majority of you lushes go for lunch, I know you drink during lunch too. This matter will not go unsettled.

Tomorrow, I am having a buffet style lunch, and will sample everything in the fridge. You have ruined it for everyone.

I will sniff you out like a cat you filthy rat.

va te faire enculer

30 thoughts on “A short letter to a food thief

    1. These asses can afford food, someone is being a smart ass.

      It is not really French, it is just swear words. In language I think the first words you really learn are swears, and they are the last to leave your tongue

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Stuff like this still happens? Really? I worked in an office setting once (for 4 mths) and hated it to tears as I was soooo bored and felt like my skills were being underutilized. It was just my boss and me so there were no food issues, but I’ve heard of this kind of stuff… There’s even a Seinfeld episode about it that’s super hilarious!

    Sorry your lunch went missing. Not cool at all! 😦

    But what if you sample everything in the fridge and get sick from someone’s bad food prep habits? That won’t be cool either… Be careful ☺🌷


    1. I remember during internship it will happen all the time as jokes, but that was the late 90’s. It is 2016 for crying out loud. I never got into seinfeld, though I thought that ellaine chick was cute, anyway, I am sampling. sampling sampling, sampling. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but ehh, I am in a mood.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh no! People suck! I’m sorry someone took your lunch.
    It’s funny about the French curses. In college a French man taught me a bunch of curse words but I can’t remember most of them and I wouldn’t be able to spell them anyway. They were good, though. I used them a lot. 🙂


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