Main Character: What are we going to do when we get to the end?
Villain: At the end I’m going to fuck you up, and take your squeeze.
Main Character: Dumb-ass, I’m the main character, I kick your ass and get the girl.
Love Interest: Wait what. You get me? Who says I want you?
Main Character: Look chick, that dickhead writing this is going to put me through all this shit, and my prize is you.
Love Interest: Wait what. I’m a prize, like some medal.
Villain: Wait. Why do you keep saying “wait what.”
Love Interest: Dunno, think its in my personality sketch.
Villain: You have a personality sketch? Do I?
Love Interest: Dunno, think we all do.
Main Character: Could you two shut the fuck up.
Villain: Damn he has a temper. That’s your happily ever after?
Main Character: Damn right she is.
Love Interest: Look, I’m no one squeeze, girl, prize, medal or whatever the fuck.
Villain: Damn she has a temper, too. You guys will be perfect togeth-
Main Character: What the fuck is that light?
Love Interest: I think he turned the computer on.
Main Character: Fuck, where were we?
Villain: You were going by her apartment.
Love Interest: Wait what. You’re coming to my place?
Main Character: Yeah chick, get your ass in character.
Villain: Ha ha. This book is so not getting published.
Main Character: Shut up. Take your place. Chick, you too.
The sign hung on the elevator door: OUT OF ORDER. “Looks like it’s the stairs, fuck.” Dillon starts his climb up six flights of stairs. Half way up, he stops, takes some deep breaths and wipe the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. “Fucking stairs.”
At the top, the sixth floor, panting like a dying donkey, he threw his sports jacket on, straighten himself up, and managed to huff and puff his way to the door of the woman he thought he would climb mountains for. “Damn elevator, I swear.”
“You are one unfit bastard.” A voice shoots down from the stairs leading up.
“You! what the fuck are you doing here?”
“I told you I was going to fuck you up, and take your squeeze.”
Two shots from a 9MM Baretta drove there way into Dillon’s chest.
Author: Wait, what the fuck.
Main character: That’s what I’m screaming. What the fuck. I’m suppose to get the squeeze.
Love interest: I’m nobodies fucking squeeze.
Villain: Fuck, can I be in a different book.