(1) Control your breathing.
Sometimes things are just not fair. I read that the average human will take slightly above 672, 000, 000 breaths in a life time. That sum includes breaths taking while asleep. That sucks. What if that sum total of breaths was all a human had in a life time. I wouldn’t want it wasted in sleep.
I tell you what too, if each human was given an allotted amount of breaths in their life time, there’s a lot of people you wouldn’t waste a singular breath on. Think about that the next time some fuckwit gets you visibly huffy.
(2) American Television News.
This has to be the most ridiculous thing on television. It’s embarrassing.
(3) Putin and the “Slapping Law.”
This freakin guy. I swear this dude is from another planet. I hope–dear God I hope–a brawny woman name Olga “minorly” chokes the fuck out of a Vladimir.
(4) The Jay-Z–Beyonce conundrum.
There is no God. As long as I live I will never get over this. I will never understand it. How could Beyonce do this to me? Jay-Z, B? It is why you lost out to Adelle at the Grammy’s, the world is not racist, your husband is fucking ugly. Do you know how many other men you could take to Red Lobster?
(5) Angela Macuga face of fear?
If you watched the Super Bowl, you were privy to an emotion caught in real time. Pure. Fear. It happened during the overtime period when the Patriots were about to send a .50 caliber incendiary round through the heart of a franchise. Macuga’s husband, Author Blank (Owner of the Atlanta Falcons), looked already shot, dead. I don’t care what anyone says, that was not a look of concern for a husband heartbrokenness, that was a look of, oh fuck, this motherfucker is mad. I swear that woman feared for her life then and there. I am alleging that this dude pimp-hand is strong.
Watch this dude…Aint no “Slapping Laws” over here partner.